Stop Being a Victim

Juat saying, and I know this might sound a little aggro, but if you wake up in the morning and say “gee, what am I going to find offensive today? Where can I find the nearest MAGA hat so I can punch a nazi?” you need help. And I mean like, psychological help.

I wouldn’t really consider myself an activist but I know divisive BS when I smell it. I’m tired of listening to idiots like Brian Stelter on the Communist News Network or others on MSNBC sew the hatred that they do. I know… don’t like it, don’t watch it. But I can’t ignore the hatred and divisiveness the “Dinosaur” media is pushing. Especially when you have people like Maxine Waters telling people to heckle Trump supporters in public.

But I digress…

Everything in this world has been taken from you via Capitalism, right? Wrong. It’s because it creates a competitive economy that you can’t compete in and doesn’t give handouts.

You want socialism? Leave. Look at how great Venezuela is doing! Pretty sure they have a few cats and dogs left on the street to feed each other before turning to cannibalism.

Who’s fault is it that you’re too lazy to get out of your parent’s basement to find a job? Not mine. Not others.

I get it. You’re fresh out of college, paid probably ~15k/yr (if you can actually land a job) after getting a degree in Gender Studies. Or no job, and no chance at one. Here’s an idea:  try harder, work harder.

I would be pissed, too, if I was you. You wasted a lot of money on a worthless degree. But does mean our American tax dollars should pay for your insufficiencies? No.

If you had a valid reason as to why the system should change, aside from the fact that you’re a crybaby and can’t get off the teet, no empathy is headed your way.

In fact, you might need to forget that piece of paper in your hand and find a real job that requires real skill and earn yourself a real paycheck.

Stop drinking your soy lattes, learn struggle, and grow TF up.

If not, that’s on you. Not us.

Can’t Sleep

I don’t know why I have such trouble sleeping at night. It’s 6:45a as I started writing this and I’ve been awake since about 4a tossing and turning. That might not sound very bad to some but when you go to sleep at midnight and wake up after only a few hours on a consistent basis, it takes a toll on your psyche, right? Insomnia due to an overactive brain? Overstressed? I don’t know. I have medication that’s been prescribed to me to help me stay asleep but I refuse to take it each night.

Wouldn’t a better idea be to figure out the root cause of my mental discourse? Common sense, right? Why can’t I find peace? Digging into the foundation would be a better place to start instead of slapping a temporary “bandage” over my issues with drugs. I appreciate having a doctor who is doing his best to guide me down the right path but he doesn’t know exactly what is going on. My blood tests don’t clue in as to any physical medical issues. My blood pressure is constantly jacked. The other week, when my medical leave was enacted, I was 188/123. I have tried therapy but it doesn’t help. I shouldn’t be going through this at 29 and now I’m a Guinea pig to the drugs that might help. Key word: might. Maybe I’m just not meant to live on this Earth for very long. My heart will inevitably fail after prolonged hypertension.

I look at the bottles of prescription drugs that sit on the nightstand next to me and I cringe every time. I don’t want this life. I don’t feel like the drugs are helping like I’d hoped. I don’t want to be dependent on a multitude of chemicals just to feel “normal”. First world problems, I know, but it’s torture to feel like a prisoner to the fear in my heart. Why am I like this? I think I know but maybe I’ll have to contemplate in future posts. Maybe I should change the name of this blog to WhinyBitchBoy? I’m just living on Struggle Street right now and I need help.

I hope to eventually have a community of people that are relatable, care, listen, and participate in not only helping me figure out WTF is wrong with me, but also to help anyone else that is experiencing similar issues. That is my goal. I believe we can come up with a solution together. And, even if this blog is stale for a while, this is actually pretty therapeutic to put all this into context. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read.

The Journey Begins

I’ll keep the default title for this post because indeed the journey does begin. Whether or not I find success with this Blog experience as far as monetary value goes is of no issue to me compared to the fact that I might find good company or people I can relate with on my topics. My most recent experience is the medical leave I had to take because apparently my heart was going to explode. So instead of sitting at home wondering what to do with my life I’ll talk to you instead. 🙂 I know I will probably totally suck at this and won’t have any traffic for a while but I’m looking forward to the conversations ahead. Until that day, I love you all and I’ll be updating again soon. Maybe I should post my latest work à la Ableton? Who knows. More to come soon. PS: I’m not the angry one in the photo. HA, take that Brandon.